Kiddushin, Daf Bet, Part 6

 

Introduction

A parable by R. Shimon as to why the Torah says a man takes a woman and not a woman is taken by a man.

 

ואי בעית אימא הא מני ר’ שמעון היא דתניא ר"ש אומר מפני מה אמרה תורה כי יקח איש אישה (דברים כב,יג) ולא כתב כי תלקח אשה לאיש מפני שדרכו של איש לחזר על אשה ואין דרכה של אשה לחזר על איש

 

Alternatively I can say: The author of this [Mishnah] is R. Shimon. For it was taught: R. Shimon said: Why did the Torah state, When a man takes a wife and not when a woman is taken by a man ? Because it is the way of a man to go in search of a woman, but it is not the way of a woman to go in search of a man.

 

The Talmud here quotes a statement by R. Shimon in order to explain something about the mishnah. To Rashi, the quote explains why the language of the mishnah uses the word ways and not things. But we should note that R. Shimon himself is explaining a verse in the Torah and not the mishnah. This is a case where a statement made in one context is being used to explain something else. To me it is not so clear that the Talmud uses R. Shimon s statement to explain why ways is used and not things.

 

משל לאדם שאבדה לו אבידה מי חוזר על מי בעל האבידה מחזר על אבידתו

 

This may be compared to a man who lost something: who goes in search of whom? The one who lost something goes in search of what is lost.

 

The allusion here is to the story of the Garden of Eden. Men seek out women because the first woman was taken from a man.

I realize that this is a gendered way of viewing the world. But it certainly seems true of R. Shimon s time, and probably is still relatively true in our world. The percentage of marriage proposals in which the man asks the woman is still probably very high. Would be interesting to think of what R. Shimon would say about changing gender roles in our society. Is this midrash essentially his way of saying men are genetically disposed to be the pursuers? Or would he say that gender roles can change?