Kiddushin, Daf Samekh Heh, Part 1

 

Introduction

This mishnah deals with cases where a man says that he betrothed a certain woman and she contradicts him or where she claims that he betrothed her and he denies it.

The general principle upon which this mishnah stands is that a person can make a statement which impacts himself/herself but does not impact others. Stated otherwise, a person is believed with regard to personal consequences but not with regard to consequences to others. To have consequences one needs witnesses.

 

מתני׳ האומר לאשה קדשתיך והיא אומרת לא קדשתני הוא אסור בקרובותיה והיא מותרת בקרוביו

 

If he says to a woman, I betrothed you, and she says, You did not betroth me : he is prohibited to her relatives, but she is permitted to his relatives.

 

The man claims he has betrothed the woman, and therefore he is believed with regard to himself. The consequence is that all of the woman s relatives (daughter, mother, sister etc. for a full list see Yevamot 4:7) are prohibited to him, because according to him, he is betrothed to their relative. However, the woman denies that this man betrothed her. Hence she is not prohibited to his relatives.

 

היא אומרת קדשתני והוא אומר לא קדשתיך הוא מותר בקרובותיה והיא אסורה בקרוביו

 

If she says, You betrothed me, and he says, I did not betroth you, he is permitted to her relatives but she is prohibited to his relatives.

 

This is the opposite case. Since she claims to be betrothed to him, she is prohibited from marrying his relatives. Since he denies being betrothed to her, he is permitted to her relatives.

 

קידשתיך והיא אומרת לא קידשת אלא בתי הוא אסור בקרובות גדולה וגדולה מותרת בקרוביו הוא מותר בקרובות קטנה וקטנה מותרת בקרוביו

 

I betrothed you, and she says, You betrothed my daughter, he is forbidden to the relatives of the senior [the mother], but the senior is permitted to his relatives; he is permitted to the junior s [the daughter s] relatives, and the junior is permitted to his relatives.

 

The mishnah adds a wrinkle to the previous cases. Here the husband claims that he betrothed a woman and she responds that he didn t betroth her but rather he betrothed her daughter (again, one can imagine a Hollywood scenario lurking behind this mishnah!). As above, he is prohibited to her relatives because he claims that he betrothed her. The mother (the senior woman) is not prohibited to his relatives, because she claims that she is not betrothed to that man. The man is not prohibited to the daughter s relatives because he denies having betrothed her. The daughter is also permitted to his relatives, since she didn t claim that she was betrothed to him, but rather the mother did. A mother does not have the legal ability to give her daughter in betrothal and hence, unlike a father who does have such a legal ability, she is not believed to say that she has done so.

 

קדשתי את בתך והיא אומרת לא קדשת אלא אותי הוא אסור בקרובות קטנה וקטנה מותרת בקרוביו הוא מותר בקרובות גדולה וגדולה אסורה בקרוביו

 

[If a man says to a woman], I betrothed your daughter, and she replies, You betrothed me ; he is forbidden to the junior s [the daughter s] relatives, while the junior is permitted to his relatives; he is permitted to the senior s [mother s] relatives, while the senior is forbidden to his relatives.

 

This section provides the opposite scenario to that which we saw above. The man claims that he betrothed the woman s daughter, and is therefore forbidden to the daughter s relatives. However, the daughter is still permitted to his relatives, since neither she nor her mother claimed that she was betrothed to him.

The mother s relatives are permitted to him, because he doesn t claim to have betrothed her. However, she is forbidden to his relatives because she claims to have been betrothed to him.