Kiddushin, Daf Samekh Gimmel, Part 5
Introduction
This section deals with the mishnah we learned yesterday. A father says he does not remember to whom he betrothed his daughter. A man comes along and says it was him. The mishnah says he is believed. The amoraim ask what it means when it says he is believed.
גמ׳ אמר רב נאמן ליתן גט ואין נאמן לכנוס נאמן ליתן גט אין אדם חוטא ולא לו ואין נאמן לכנוס אימא יצרו תוקפו
GEMARA. Rav said: he is believed to give her a divorce, but he is not believed to marry her.
He is believed to give her a divorce: no man sins without profit.
But he is not believed to take her: his desire may have overcome him.
Rav says that the man who claims to have married her is allowed to give her a divorce. We can assume that he didn t lie for without a purpose. He must believe that he is married to her. He would not lie just to get her out of her pickle.
On the other hand, maybe he is lying, and he simply desires her. She s a damsel in distress of sorts.
Since there is contradictory logic here, we tell him he must divorce her. He is not allowed to marry her lest he is lying and is married to someone else.
רב אסי אמר אף נאמן לכנוס
ומודה רב אסי באומרת נתקדשתי ואיני יודעת למי נתקדשתי ובא אחד ואמר קידשתיה שאין נאמן לכנוס
R. Assi said: He is even believed to marry her.
But R. Assi agrees that if she declares, I have been betrothed, but do not know to whom, and one comes and says: I betrothed her, he is not believed to marry her.
R. Assi says that if the father claims he married her off, the man who says it was to him can even marry her.
However, if the woman herself accepted the kiddushin, but does not remember from whom, the man is not believed to marry her. The Talmud will explain this below.
תנן רצו אחד נותן גט ואחד כונס תיובתא דרב
אמר לך רב שאני התם דכיון דאיכא אחר בהדיה אירתותי מירתת
We learned [in the mishnah]: but if they wish, one gives a divorce and the other takes her: this is a refutation of Rav.
Rav could answer you. There it is different: since another is with him, he is indeed afraid.
The mishnah said that if two men come and claim to have married her, one can divorce her and the other marry her. This seems to dispute Rav for Rav seems to say that one may not marry her.
Rav could solve the problem by saying that it is different if there are two men. The man who marries her will be afraid to lie in front of another person [this reasoning is very difficult after all, one of the men is certainly lying].
תניא כוותיה דרב אסי קידשתי את בתי ואיני יודע למי קידשתיה ובא אחד ואמר קידשתיה אף נאמן לכנוס
כנסה ובא אחר ואמר אני קדשתיה לא כל הימנו לאוסרה עליו
האשה שאמרה נתקדשתי ואיני יודעת למי נתקדשתי ובא אחד ואמר אני קידשתי אין נאמן לכנוס מפני שהיא מחפה עליו
It was taught as R. Assi: I have given my daughter in betrothal, but do not know to whom I betrothed her, and one comes and says: I betrothed her, he is believed, even to marry her.
If he marries her and [then] another comes and says: I betrothed her, he does not have the power to forbid her to him [the first].
[But] if a woman says: I have been betrothed, but do not know to whom, and one comes and declares, I betrothed her, he is not trusted to take her, because she will protect him.
This baraita accords with R. Assi the first man who comes and claims he married her is allowed to marry her.
If another man comes and now claims it was him, he cannot disrupt the previous marriage. We do not trust him to undo what is already done.
However, if the woman herself forgot to whom she was betrothed, a man is not believed lest he is lying and she is colluding with him to get herself out of this problematic situation.