Kiddushin, Daf Peh, Part 5

 

Introduction

This mishnah discusses the prohibition of yihud a man may not be alone in a room with a woman. Indeed, the mishnah assumes this prohibition is known and qualifies it in various ways. The reason for this prohibition seems to be that the rabbis made two assumptions: 1) men cannot control their sexual urges and therefore they will attempt to have sex with any woman with whom they are alone; 2) women cannot stop the men from making such advances. I think it would be interesting to examine developments in our own society over the last few years in relation to these assumptions.

 

מתני׳ לא יתייחד אדם עם שתי נשים אבל אשה אחת מתייחדת עם שני אנשים

 

A man may not be alone with two women, but one woman may be alone with two men.

 

It is taken for granted that a man may not be alone with one woman. The mishnah adds that one man may not be alone even with two women. The fear is that the presence of two women will not deter the man from making advances on either or even on both of the women. However, one woman may be alone with two men, under the assumption that the presence of another man will deter each man from engaging in a prohibited and socially unacceptable act (sex with a woman not his wife).

 

רבי שמעון אומר אף איש אחד מתייחד עם שתי נשים בזמן שאשתו עמו וישן עמהם בפונדקי מפני שאשתו משמרתו

 

Rabbi Shimon says: even one man may be alone with two women, if his wife is with him, and he may sleep with them in an inn, because his wife watches him.

 

Rabbi Shimon is more lenient and allows a man to be secluded with two women. According to the version of the mishnah which I translated above, such seclusion is only permitted if his wife is with him, for she will watch over him. However, other versions add the word and making this into a separate clause. They read that if a man s wife is with him he may be alone with one other woman, and may even sleep in the same room with both of them in an inn.

 

מתייחד אדם עם אמו ועם בתו וישן עמהם בקירוב בשר ואם הגדילו זו ישנה בכסותה וזה ישן בכסותו

A man may be alone with his mother and his daughter, and he may sleep with them in immediate bodily contact; but when they grow up, she must sleep in her garment and he in his.

 

Seclusion is not prohibited with one s mother or daughter. While he is a minor he may sleep naked in bed with his mother, and while his daughter is a minor, she may sleep naked in bed with him. When they grow up they may continue to sleep in the same bed, but they must be clothed. As an aside, it seems that people normally slept without a garment. After all, the land of Israel is rather warm and a blanket often suffices.

 

גמ׳ מ"ט תנא דבי אליהו הואיל ונשים דעתן קלות עליהן

 

GEMARA. What is the reason? Tanna debe Eliyahu [states]: Because women are light of mind.

 

Light of mind can mean a lot of things. But I think what it means here is that women will either not be able to, or will not want to, resist men who make a pass at them. For the record, don t forget that this was written by men.

 

מנא הני מילי א"ר יוחנן משום ר’ ישמעאל רמז ליחוד מן התורה מנין שנאמר (דברים יג, ז) כי יסיתך אחיך בן אמך וכי בן אם מסית בן אב אינו מסית אלא לומר לך בן מתייחד עם אמו ואסור להתייחד עם כל עריות שבתורה

 

How do we know this? R. Yohanan said in the name of R. Ishmael: A hint at the prohibition of yihud in the Torah where is it written? As it is said: If your brother, the son of your mother, entices you (Deuteronomy 13:7): does only a mother’s son entice, and not a father’s son? Rather, this is to tell you: a son may be secluded with his mother, but not with any other woman prohibited in the Torah.

 

R. Yohanan finds an allusion to the prohibition of seclusion from the words son of your mother. A son may be secluded with his mother, but not with any other woman prohibited to him from the Torah. At this point, it seems like the Talmud limits the prohibitions of yihud to incestual prohibitions or married women. Below, we will discuss unmarried, non-related women.

 

פשטיה דקרא במאי כתיב אמר אביי לא מיבעיא קאמר לא מיבעיא בן אב דסני ליה ועייץ ליה עצות רעות אלא אפילו בן אם דלא סני ליה אימא צייתי ליה קמ"ל

The simple meaning of the verse about what is it written? Abaye said: It [Scripture] is phrased in an it was not even necessary to say style: It goes without saying [that one should not be enticed] by the son of one s father, for he may hate him and give him evil counsel.

But as for his mother’s son, who does not hate him, I might say, let him obey him. Therefore it teaches us [that it is not so].

 

Why does the Torah refer to the son of one s mother? Might not the son of one s father also entice one to worship idols? Abaye points out that the sons of a common father have a rivalry over the inheritance. Fraternal brothers might entice one another to worship idols in the hope that one will be executed for idol worship. But maternal brothers have no such rivalry, and therefore, maybe one should listen to one s maternal brother who says, Hey bro, let s go worship some idols. Thus the Torah says don t listen to bad advice from any of your brothers. Point well taken.