Kiddushin, Daf Lammed, Part 5

 

Introduction

Today s sugya continues to discuss the evil inclination.

 

ת"ר קשה יצר הרע שאפילו יוצרו קראו רע שנאמר (בראשית ח, כא) כי יצר לב האדם רע מנעוריו

אמר רב יצחק יצרו של אדם מתחדש עליו בכל יום שנאמר (בראשית ו, ה) רק רע כל היום

ואמר ר"ש בן לוי יצרו של אדם מתגבר עליו בכל יום ומבקש המיתו שנאמר (תהלים לז, לב) צופה רשע לצדיק ומבקש להמיתו ואלמלא הקב"ה עוזרו אין יכול לו שנאמר אלהים לא יעזבנו בידו

 

Our Rabbis taught: The Evil Inclination is difficult since even his Creator called him evil, as it is written, The inclination of man’s heart is evil from his youth (Genesis 8:21).

R. Yitzchak said: A person s Evil Inclination renews itself daily against him, as it is said, It is only evil every day (Genesis 6:5).

And R. Shimon b. Levi said: A person s Evil Inclination gathers strength against him daily and seeks to slay him, for it is said: The wicked watches the righteous, and seeks to slay him (Psalms 37:32); and were not the Holy One, blessed be He, to help him, he would not be able to prevail against him, for it is said: The Lord will not leave him in his hand.

 

These three statements talk about how difficult the Evil Inclination is and that the only remedy is the help of God. The Talmud will continue to the video.

 

תנא דבי ר’ ישמעאל בני אם פגע בך מנוול זה משכהו לבית המדרש אם אבן הוא נימוח ואם ברזל הוא מתפוצץ שנאמר (ירמיהו כג, כט) הלא כה דברי כאש נאם ה’ וכפטיש יפוצץ סלע

אם אבן הוא נימוח שנאמר (ישעיהו נה, א) הוי כל צמא לכו למים ואומר (איוב יד, יט) אבנים שחקו מים

 

The School of R. Ishmael taught: My son, if this scoundrel attacks you, drag him to the Bet Midrash: if he is of stone, he will dissolve; if iron, he will shatter [into fragments], for it is said: Is not my word like fire? says the Lord, and like a hammer that breaks the rock in pieces? (Jeremiah 23:29).

If he is of stone, he will dissolve, for it is written: Ho, everyone that thirsts, come to the water (Isaiah 55:1); and it is said: The waters wear out the stones (Job 14:19).

 

Torah is like fire and water, overcoming the hard rock or iron of the Evil Inclination.

להשיאו אשה מנלן דכתיב (ירמיהו כט, ו) קחו נשים והולידו בנים ובנות וקחו לבניכם נשים ואת בנותיכם תנו לאנשים

 

To marry him off to a wife. From where do we know this? Because it is written: Take wives, and give birth to sons and daughters; and take wives for your sons, and give your daughters to husbands (Jeremiah 29:6).

 

The Talmud now goes on to discuss the next responsibility a father has for his children to marry them off. As we shall see, this plays out a little differently for sons than it does for daughters. Still, it seems that in this case, the rabbis think that a father has equal responsibility vis a vis both male and female children.

 

בשלמא בנו בידו אלא בתו בידו היא הכי קאמר להו ניתן לה מידי ולבשייה ונכסייה כי היכי דקפצו עלה אינשי

 

As for [marrying] his son, it is well, for it is within his capacity; but with respect to his daughter, is it within his capacity?

This is what it should say: Let him give her [a dowry], clothe her and adorn her, that men should be eager to marry her.

 

A father can find a wife for his son, and, the Talmud seems to assume, force his son to marry the woman. But a father cannot really force another man to marry his daughter. But what he can do is provide her with a good-sized dowry, clothes and help make her attractive so that men will want to marry her. In the ancient world, where decisions on marriage were made by parents for practical reasons, there is no doubt that this was a primary consideration in choosing a spouse.

This notion of how parents marry off their children may be somewhat antiquated, but I still think that this is what parents essentially do. They try to provide their children with education and other opportunities so that they will be able to go out into the world, choose for themselves a spouse and start their own families. As someone who has two children who (hopefully) in the next ten years will be in the marriage market, I can testify that I do think about this a lot. What can I do to help my children be most prepared for starting their lives in the real world, including finding partners with whom to build their lives.

 

ללמדו אומנות מנלן אמר חזקיה דאמר קרא (קהלת ט, ט) ראה חיים עם אשה אשר אהבת אם אשה ממש היא כשם שחייב להשיאו אשה כך חייב ללמדו אומנות אם תורה היא כשם שחייב ללמדו תורה כך חייב ללמדו אומנות

 

To teach him a craft. From where do we know this?

Hizkiyah said: For the verse says, See to a livelihood with the wife whom you love (Kohelet 9:9). If wife is literal, [this teaches,] that just as he [the father] is obligated to take a wife for him, so is he obligated to teach him a craft [for a livelihood]; if it is [a metaphor for] Torah, then just as he is obligated to teach him Torah, so is he obligated to teach him a craft.

 

Kohelet compares a wife with a livelihood. Whether wife is meant to be taken literally or figuratively, the verse can be read as mandating that a father teach his child a means through which to earn a living.

 

ויש אומרים אף להשיטו בנהר מאי טעמא חיותיה הוא

 

And some say, [He must teach him] to swim in the river too.

What is the reason? His life may depend on it.

 

Teach your children to swim their life may depend on it.

 

רבי יהודה אומר כל שאינו מלמדו אומנות מלמדו ליסטות ליסטות ס"ד אלא כאילו מלמדו ליסטות מאי בינייהו איכא בינייהו דאגמריה עיסקא

 

R. Judah said: He who does not teach him a craft teaches him banditry.

Banditry ! Do you really think so?

Rather it is like teaching him banditry.

What do they differ about?

They differ when he teaches him business.

 

According to R. Judah, a father must teach his son a real craft i.e. how to make things.

According to the other opinion in the mishnah, as long as he teaches him a way to make money, he has fulfilled his obligation.