Kiddushin, Daf Lammed Bet, Part 1

 

Instruction

At the end of last week s daf, we learned that honoring one s parents means providing them with food and other forms of sustenance. The question now asked is-who pays for this the child or the parent? If it is the parent, then honoring them means using their money to go and buy them the things they need. But if it is from the child, then the child must use his/her own resources.

 

איבעיא להו משל מי

רב יהודה אמר משל בן רב נתן בר אושעיא אמר משל אב

אורו ליה רבנן לרב ירמיה ואמרי לה לבריה דרב ירמיה כמ"ד משל אב

 

They asked the question: From whose money?

Rav Judah said: From the son.

R. Nahman b. Oshaia said: From the father.

The Rabbis instructed R. Yirmiyah and others say R. Yirmiyah s son in accordance with the view that it come from the father.

 

The rabbis dispute who must pay, but ultimately the majority holds that the parent must use his own funds to provide for himself. I should note that this section assumes that both parties have resources.

 

מיתיבי נאמר (שמות כ, יא) כבד את אביך ואת אמך ונאמר (משלי ג, ט) כבד את ה’ מהונך מה להלן בחסרון כיס אף כאן בחסרון כיס ואי אמרת משל אב מאי נפקא ליה מיניה לביטול מלאכה

 

They objected: It is said: Honor your father and your mother (Exodus 20:11); and it is also said: Honor the Lord with your property (Proverbs 3:9): just as the latter means at personal cost, so the former means at personal cost. But if you say: At the father’s [expense], what does it matter? It matters for loss of work opportunity.

 

A baraita that we saw earlier seems to say that a person must honor his parents at personal cost. But what personal cost can there be if the parent pays for his own upkeep? The answer is personal loss of work time. If one needs to help one s parents and by doing so he will lose time at work, he must nevertheless do so.

ת"ש ב’ אחים שני שותפין האב ובנו הרב ותלמידו פודין זה לזה מעשר שני ומאכילין זה לזה מעשר עני ואי אמרת משל בן נמצא זה פורע חובו משל עניים

לא צריכא להעדפה

 

Come and hear: Two brothers, two partners, a father and son, a master and student, may redeem second tithe for each other, and may feed each other with the poor tithe.

But if you say, at the son’s expense, it turns out he is fulfilling his obligations with what belongs to the poor?

This refers only to an extra quantity.

 

Every third and sixth year of the sabbatical cycle a Jew must give 10 per cent of his produce to the poor. But a son can give it to his poor father. The problem is that one should not be filling debts with the poor person s tithe. So this would imply that feeding one s father is not the responsibility of the son. This therefore is a difficulty on Rav Judah from above.

The resolution is that the son is giving him extra food from the poor tithe, not the basic amount he is obligated to give him by law.

 

אי הכי היינו דקתני עלה אמר רבי יהודה תבא מאירה למי שמאכיל את אביו מעשר עני

ואי להעדפה מאי נפקא מינה אפילו הכי זילא ביה מילתא

 

If so, could it be taught about this, R. Judah said: May a curse come on he who feeds his father with poor tithe! But if the reference is to an extra quantity, what does it matter?

Even so, doing so is humiliating [to the father].

 

R. Judah commented on this baraita, saying essentially that it is disgraceful to feed one s father poor tithe. It looks like one really does not want to honor one s father by taking care of him. But if the son is only giving the father extra food, then why should he be cursed for using poor tithe.

The answer is that even if its extra food, it is still disgraceful to use poor tithe to feed one s father. People do not like to be treated as if they were poor and if the son has the means to feed his father without using his poor tithe, he should do so.