Kiddushin, Daf Lamed Aleph, Part 4

 

תני אבימי בריה דרבי אבהו יש מאכיל לאביו פסיוני וטורדו מן העולם ויש מטחינו בריחים ומביאו לחיי העולם הבא

 

Abimi, son of R. Abahu taught: There is one who feeds his father pheasants as food, yet [this] drives him from the world; whereas another may make him grind in a mill and [this] brings him to the world to come!

 

This tradition is found more elaborated in the Yerushalmi, and it is basically impossible to understand the Bavli without the Yerushalmi. There we read:

 

There is one who feeds his father fatted birds and inherits Gehenom and one who ties his father to a mill and inherits heaven.

How is it that one can feed his father fatted birds and inherit Gehenom? There once was a man who fed his father fatted birds. Once, his father said to him, Son, where did you get this? He said back, Old man, eat and shut up like a dog. It turns out that while he feeds his father fatted birds, he still inherits Gehenom.

How is it that one can tie his father to a mill and still inherit heaven? There once was a man who was a wheat-grinder. A command came from the king to the grinder. The son said to his father, Father, grind in my place so that if they come to disgrace or beat (one of us) better they should disgrace or beat me and not you. [The king would first take those who were not working]. It turns out that he ties his father to the mill, and still inherits heaven.

 

We should note that it in all of these sources the parallel in the Yerushalmi is usually easier to understand. It seems that the Bavli inherited its sources in some sort of truncated form.

 

אמר רבי אבהו כגון אבימי ברי קיים מצות כיבוד חמשה בני סמכי הוה ליה לאבימי בחיי אביו וכי הוה אתא רבי אבהו קרי אבבא רהיט ואזיל ופתח ליה ואמר אין אין עד דמטאי התם

יומא חד אמר ליה אשקיין מיא אדאייתי ליה נמנם גחין קאי עליה עד דאיתער איסתייעא מילתיה ודרש אבימי (תהלים עט, א) מזמור לאסף

 

R. Abahu said: Like my son Abimi who has fulfilled the commandment of honoring [parents]. Abimi had five ordained sons in his father’s lifetime, yet when R. Abahu came and called out at the door, he himself speedily went and opened it for him, crying, Yes, yes until he reached it.

One day he said to him, Give me a drink of water. By the time he brought it he had fallen asleep. Thereupon he bent and stood over him until he awoke.

For this Abimi received divine help and succeeded in interpreting, A psalm of Asaf (Psalms 79:1).

 

Abimi, R. Abahu s son, was particularly scrupulous in performing the mitzvah of honoring his father. Interestingly, his father is again asleep.

Rashi asks what is so special about Psalm 79? He explains that this Psalm really should be a lament to Asaf, for in it the Temple is defiled and destroyed. The darshan, however, explains the positive side while the Temple is destroyed, the people were not all killed. God took God s full wrath out on stones, and thereby a remnant of the people was saved.

 

אמר ליה רב יעקב בר אבוה לאביי כגון אנא דעד דאתינא מבי רב אבא מדלי לי כסא ואמא מזגה לי היכי איעביד א"ל מאמך קביל ומאבוך לא תקבל דכיון דבר תורה הוא חלשה דעתיה

 

R. Ya akov b. Abahu asked Abaye: Someone like me, for before I return from the bet hamidrash my father has poured out a cup [of wine] and my mother has mixed it, what should I do ? He said back: Accept it from your mother but not from your father; for since he is a scholar, he may be disheartened.

 

R. Ya akov b. Abahu s parents honor him by pouring him wine even before he comes home. But can he accept such an honor? Abaye says that he may accept it from his mother, but not his father, for his father is also a Torah scholar. We can sense here the tension between the honor due a person because he is a scholar, and the honor due a person as a parent. R. Ya akov is a scholar, and thus his parents honor him. But they are his parents, and he should honor them. The solution is that he may indeed accept this honor from them, but only if it does not at the same time dishonor his father as a scholar.