Gittin, Daf Vav, Part 6

 

Introduction

This sugya draws some lessons from the story of the concubine in Givah.

 

אָמַר רַב חִסְדָּא לְעוֹלָם אַל יָטִיל אָדָם אֵימָה יְתֵירָה בְּתוֹךְ בֵּיתוֹ שֶׁהֲרֵי פִּילֶגֶשׁ בַּגִּבְעָה הֵטִיל עָלֶיהָ בַּעֲלָהּ אֵימָה יְתֵירָה וְהִפִּילָה כַּמָּה רְבָבוֹת מִיִּשְׂרָאֵל

 

Rav Hisda said: A person should never cast excessive fear among the members of his household, for the concubine in Givah, her husband cast upon her excessive fear, and she caused the downfall of tens of thousands of Israel

 

The horrible results of the story of concubine in Givah (murder and civil war) all began because her husband was too harsh on her. This is classic case in literature where small mistakes, small cases of bad behavior, lead down the road to disastrous results.

 

אָמַר רַב יְהוּדָה אָמַר רַב כׇּל הַמֵּטִיל אֵימָה יְתֵירָה בְּתוֹךְ בֵּיתוֹ סוֹף הוּא בָּא לִידֵי שָׁלֹשׁ עֲבֵירוֹת גִּילּוּי עֲרָיוֹת וּשְׁפִיכוּת דָּמִים וְחִילּוּל שַׁבָּת

 

R. Yehudah said: Anyone who casts excessive fear among the members of his household will in the end come to three sins: illicit sexual relations, bloodshed and the desecration of the Sabbath.

 

Rashi explains each of these. If the husband causes his wife to fear, when it is cold outside, she won t want to go to the mikveh and she will lie and tell him that she did. It will turn out that he is having relations with a menstruant.

Bloodshed is related to the episode of the concubine in Givah.

If the husband gets too angry at her, she will cook food on Shabbat or light a candle and he won t know. In other words, she will be afraid if she forgot to light the candle or warm the food and she will lie to him.

 

אָמַר רַבָּה בַּר בַּר חָנָה הָא דְּאָמְרִי רַבָּנַן שְׁלֹשָׁה דְּבָרִים צָרִיךְ אָדָם לוֹמַר בְּתוֹךְ בֵּיתוֹ עֶרֶב שַׁבָּת עִם חֲשֵׁיכָה עִשַּׂרְתֶּם עֵרַבְתֶּם הַדְלִיקוּ אֶת הַנֵּר צָרִיךְ לְמֵימְרִינְהוּ בְּנִיחוּתָא כִּי הֵיכִי דְּלִיקַבְּלוּ מִינֵּיהּ

אָמַר רַב אָשֵׁי אֲנָא לָא שְׁמִיעָא לִי הָא דְּרַבָּה בַּר בַּר חָנָה וְקִיַּימְתִּיהָ מִסְּבָרָא

 

Rabbah bar bar Hannah said: That which the rabbis said, A man must say three things in his house on Friday eve as it gets dark: Did you tithe? Did you set up an eruv? Did you light the candle? He must say them gently so that she will accept them.

Rav Ashi said: I did not hear what Rabbah bar Hanah said but I fulfilled them through my own reasoning.

 

The mishnah in the second chapter of Shabbat teaches that a man must say three things on Friday eve as it gets dark he must make sure his wife tithed the food, set up an eruv (that would allow carrying from courtyard to courtyard) and that she lit the candle. He must say these gently for otherwise she might lie.

Rav Ashi boasts that even without knowing this tradition he spoke gently with his wife. This hearkens back to a statement by Abaye we read earlier the mark of a scholar is his reason, not just his knowledge of traditions. A person should know that getting angry at the members of one s household is not an effective way of getting the job done.

 

אָמַר רַבִּי אֲבָהוּ לְעוֹלָם אַל יָטִיל אָדָם אֵימָה יְתֵירָה בְּתוֹךְ בֵּיתוֹ שֶׁהֲרֵי אָדָם גָּדוֹל הֵטִיל אֵימָה יְתֵירָה בְּתוֹךְ בֵּיתוֹ וְהֶאֱכִילוּהוּ דָּבָר גָּדוֹל

וּמַנּוּ רַבִּי חֲנִינָא בֶּן גַּמְלִיאֵל הֶאֱכִילוּהוּ סָלְקָא דַּעְתָּךְ הַשְׁתָּא בְּהֶמְתָּן שֶׁל צַדִּיקִים אֵין הַקָּדוֹשׁ בָּרוּךְ הוּא מֵבִיא תַּקָּלָה עַל יָדָם צַדִּיקִים עַצְמָן לֹא כׇּל שֶׁכֵּן

אֶלָּא בִּקְּשׁוּ לְהַאֲכִילוֹ דָּבָר גָּדוֹל וּמַאי נִיהוּ אֵבֶר מִן הַחַי

 

R. Abahu said: A person should never cast excessive fear among the members of his household, for a great man cast excessive fear on his house and they fed him a great thing.

And who was this man? R. Hanina ben Gamliel.

Do you really think they actually fed him? Now that God does not cause even the animal of the righteous to stumble, all the more so the righteous themselves.

Rather, they wanted to feed him a great thing. And what was it? The limb from a living animal.

 

R. Hanina ben Gamaliel cast excessive fear on his family. Were it not for God s intervention, his family would have had their revenge by having him eat the limb of a living animal, which is strictly prohibited. There may even be a measure for measure punishment occurring here. Casting excessive fear over one s family is not a civilized way of behaving. It reminds us of the animal world. And eating the limb off of a living creature is not a civilized way of acting. It is the way of the beastly world. Act like a beast and you will end up eating like a beast.