Kiddushin, Daf Mem Heh, Part 3
Introduction
Today s sugya contains a story about two men who betroth their kids to each other.
הנהו בי תרי דהוו קא שתו חמרא תותי ציפי בבבל
שקל חד מינייהו כסא דחמרא יהב ליה לחבריה אמר מיקדשא לי ברתיך לברי
Two men were drinking wine under poplar trees in Babylonia. One of them took a goblet of wine, gave it to his fellow and said: Betroth your daughter to my son.
This scene strikes me as reflective of actually society. Two men are drinking and they decide to marry off their kids to one another. What parent hasn t tried (or at least thought) to marry their kid to one of their friend s kids.
אמר רבינא אפילו למאן דאמר חיישינן שמא נתרצה האב שמא נתרצה הבן לא אמרינן
Ravina said: Even according to the one who said we are concerned that the father may have consented, we [certainly] do not say: Perhaps the son consented.
Ravina says that these kiddushin are not valid at all. If a girl is married without her father s consent, we might think that the father may have consented. But a father cannot marry off his son and no one holds that perhaps the son consented. A man cannot marry unless he gives explicit consent.
אמרי ליה רבנן לרבינא ודילמא שליח שויה
לא חציף איניש לשויי לאבוה שליח
The rabbis said to Ravina: Perhaps, he [the son] had appointed him [the father] his agent?
A man is not so brazen as to appoint his father as an agent.
Had the son appointed the father as an agent, the marriage would have been valid. But this is insolent behavior, and we do not assume that the son was so brazen as to do so.
אמר ליה רבה בר שימי בפירוש אמר מר דלא סבר להא דרב ושמואל
But perhaps he [the son] had made his desire for her known in his presence?
Rabbah b. Shimi said to them: The Master [Ravina] has explicitly stated that he does not accept the view of Rav and Shmuel.
Ravina does not agree with Rav and Shmuel who said that we are concerned lest the father consented to the betrothal of his daughter who was betrothed without his knowledge. Ravina holds that we are never concerned that someone might have consented. Without the father s consent for his daughter to be betrothed or the son s consent to betroth, there is no validity to the betrothal.