Kiddushin, Daf Kaf Tet, Part 5

 

Introduction

Today s sugya discusses learning Torah. I should reiterate that I am not discussing how these halakhot play out in our modern world. But I should just note that today many Jews from all streams consider it not just a good thing but an actual obligation to teach daughters Torah.

 

ללמדו תורה: מנלן דכתיב (דברים יא, יט) ולמדתם אותם את בניכם

והיכא דלא אגמריה אבוה מיחייב איהו למיגמר נפשיה דכתיב ולמדתם

 

To teach him Torah. How do we know this?

As it is written, And you shall teach them your sons (Deuteronomy 11:19). And if his father did not teach him, he must teach himself, as it is written, And you shall study.

 

The Talmud provides a source obligating a father to teach his son Torah. And as with the other mitzvot, if the father does not teach the son, the son must learn himself.

 

איהי מנלן דלא מיחייבא דכתיב ולימדתם ולמדתם כל שמצווה ללמוד מצווה ללמד וכל שאינו מצווה ללמוד אינו מצווה ללמד ואיהי מנלן דלא מיחייבה למילף נפשה דכתיב ולימדתם ולמדתם כל שאחרים מצווין ללמדו מצווה ללמד את עצמו וכל שאין אחרים מצווין ללמדו אין מצווה ללמד את עצמו ומנין שאין אחרים מצווין ללמדה דאמר קרא ולמדתם אותם את בניכם ולא בנותיכם

 

How do we know that she [the mother] is not obligated [to teach her children]? Because it is written, velimadetem [and you shall teach], [which also can be read] ulemadetem [and you shall study]: whoever is commanded to study, is commanded to teach; whoever is not commanded to study, is not commanded to teach.

And how do we know that she is not obligated to teach herself? Because it is written, velimadetem [and you shall teach], [which also can be read] ulemadetem [and you shall study]: the one whom others are commanded to teach is commanded to teach oneself; and the one whom others are not commanded to teach, is not commanded to teach oneself.

How then do we know that others are not commanded to teach her? Because it is written: And you shall teach them your sons, but not your daughters.

 

Since the rabbis read the word your children as if it is written your sons they derive that fathers are not obligated to teach their daughters. And since they are not obligated to teach their daughters, the daughters (eventually mothers) are not obligated to teach their sons.

ת"ר הוא ללמוד ובנו ללמוד הוא קודם לבנו ר’ יהודה אומר אם בנו זריז וממולח ותלמודו מתקיים בידו בנו קודמו

 

Our Rabbis taught: If he has himself to teach and his son to teach, he takes precedence over his son. R. Judah said: If his son is industrious, bright, and can retain his learning, his son takes precedence over him.

 

Again, we have a dispute over which takes precedence father or son. I think that is question is really interesting for parents who constantly have to make choices as to where to allocate their resources. Does one save every penny for the enrichment of one s children, or does one also spend money on their own activities? It s a question I would guess most parents face quite frequently.

 

כי הא דרב יעקב בריה דרב אחא בר יעקב שדריה אבוה לקמיה דאביי

כי אתא חזייה דלא הוה מיחדדין שמעתיה

א"ל אנא עדיפא מינך תוב את דאיזיל אנא

שמע אביי דקא הוה אתי

הוה ההוא מזיק בי רבנן דאביי דכי הוו עיילי בתרין אפי’ ביממא הוו מיתזקי

אמר להו לא ליתיב ליה אינש אושפיזא אפשר דמתרחיש ניסא

על בת בההוא בי רבנן

אידמי ליה כתנינא דשבעה רישוותיה כל כריעה דכרע נתר חד רישיה

אמר להו למחר אי לא איתרחיש ניסא סכינתין

 

Like the story of R. Ya akov, son of R. Aha b. Ya akov, was once sent by his father [to study] under Abaye. On his return he [his father] saw that his learning was not so sharp.

He said to him: I am better than you. You stay here, so that I can go.

Abaye heard that he was coming. There was a certain demon that haunted Abaye s schoolhouse, so that when [only] two entered, even by day, they were injured.

He [Abaye] said, Let no man give him a place to stay, perhaps a miracle will happen.

So he [R. Aha b. Ya akov] entered and spent the night in that schoolhouse, during which it [the demon] appeared to him in the guise of a seven-headed dragon. Every time he [the R. Ya akov] fell on his knees [in prayer] one head fell off. The next day he said to them: Had not a miracle occurred, you would have endangered my life.

 

This wonderful story is here because R. Ya akov decides that it is better for him to learn than his dull son. But the story itself has a life of its own. I ll make a few remarks. First of all, the story exhibits an ambiguous attitude towards the father, who prefers to leave his son at home. On the one hand, he kills the demon. But on the other, people seem willing to let him risk his life in order to try to kill the demon. R. Ya akov is saved in the end, but it takes a miracle, and tomorrow that miracle might not happen. Were the townsmen justified in what they did? Did R. Ya akov do the right thing? As is often true with Talmudic aggadot, there are no easy answers to these questions.